


Let Me Eat Cake

by CaptainLeBubbles



Category: RWBY
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 08:47:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLeBubbles/pseuds/CaptainLeBubbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Qrow wants free wedding cake samples. The only way he gets them is if he presents a fiance to the rude lady at Schnee's Baking Company. This is where James comes in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Eat Cake

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on [this](http://wyomingsmustache.tumblr.com/post/140211934849/alrightevans-i-just-saw-a-thing-on-fb) post on Tumblr. Just a short silly thing.

Qrow had only wanted free cake- nothing spectacular, just free cake. Unfortunately, the only people allowed to freely sample the cake were people who were planning a wedding, and thus needed a cake for said wedding.

Qrow was not planning a wedding. He hadn’t even been on a date in months, in fact, he’d definitely consider himself in the middle of a dry spell. But the rude lady who’d refused him free cake at the Schnee Baking Company didn’t need to know that he wasn’t planning a wedding. All he had to do was produce a fiance from somewhere, and he could get all the free cake he wanted, and watch the rude lady seethe to boot. It was a win-win, really.

But where to get a fiance?

Outside the cafe, a man and a woman walked by, the woman walking like a queen and the man, the tallest, most gorgeous man Qrow had ever seen, trailing behind her with an arm full of shopping bags. Qrow abandoned his coffee and hurried after them.

“Hey there, big and pretty,” Qrow said, falling into step beside the man. “How would you like to pretend to be engaged to me for a couple of hours so I can get some free cake?”

The man stopped. He stared straight ahead for a moment, clearly trying to decide how to respond, before finally turning a baffled look on Qrow. “What?”

“Qrow!”

Qrow just turned to the woman, giving her his most dazzling grin. “Hey there, Glynda. Mind if I borrow your pack mule for a few hours? What’s your name, handsome?” he asked, turning back to him while Glynda rolled her eyes.

“James,” he said. “James Ironwood.”

Well now. Qrow resisted the urge to make the obvious joke, and turned back to Glynda. “I’m sure Jimmy here would have a lot more fun eating cake with me than carrying your shopping for you.”

“ _James_ ,” he repeated firmly. “And Glynda and I were going to watch a movie. And I don’t know you.”

“I’m Qrow, and what better way to get to know me than to eat free cake with me?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Come on, it’s free cake. How can you say no to free cake?”

Glynda turned her gaze skyward, considered; when Qrow gave her a pleading look, she sighed. “You know, James, we can always take a raincheck. You should go with Qrow- I’m sure you’ll have fun.”

“See, Jimmy?” Qrow said. “Even Glynda agrees.”

“ _James_.” He turned his attention to Glynda. “You know him?”

“He’s a friend of a friend. Go on- have fun. We can watch a movie any time.”

James frowned, studying Qrow for a long time before finally sighing. “All right,” he said. “Let me get Glynda’s things home for her, and then we can go. We can meet back here in- say- half an hour?”

“Half an hour,” Qrow repeated. “That’ll give me time to get us some rings. Make sure he turns up, Glynda,” Qrow added, giving Glynda a stern look that was completely ineffective on a woman known as the queen of stern looks.

o/o

James followed behind Glynda on the walk home, part of his thoughts back at the cafe with Qrow. His little scheme was absurd, of course, and there was no way free cake could be as important as he said, but Glynda seemed to think it was a good idea for him to go, and that meant she had something in mind.

“Why do you want me to go with Qrow?” he asked. “Trying to get rid of me?”

“Of course not!” She waved that thought away. “I just think you might have fun. Come on.” She patted his arm. “When was the last time you went on a date?”

“ _Is_  it a date?”

“He doesn’t seem like he’d object if you turned it into one. You think he’s attractive?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then go, and have fun.”

So, half an hour later, James walked back to the cafe, still unsure, but convinced by Glynda’s suggestion of turning their evening into a date. Qrow _was_  pretty handsome, he had to admit.

Qrow was waiting in front of the cafe, pacing absently, but he smiled when he saw James approaching and waved him over. “Here,” he said, shoving something into James’ hand. It was a ring. “It’s your engagement ring.”

James held up the ring and looked at it. “That wasn’t very romantic,” he deadpanned. “Shouldn’t you get down on one knee first?”

“Listen you,” Qrow started, bristling, then broke off and grinned as he realized that James was joking. “Gimme that.”

He snatched the ring away and dropped down on one knee, holding it up in what he hoped was a romantic way. Suddenly all eyes were on them.

“James- what did you say your last name was?”

“Ironwood.”

“Oh right. How could I have forgotten that? James Ironwood, will you pretend to be engaged to me so I can get free cake samples?”

James looked around. Everyone was watching them, waiting for his answer. They hadn’t heard what Qrow’d said, but they had a guess. He turned back to Qrow.

“All right,” he said. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

Qrow stood up, and dropped the ring in James’ hand again. He looked around. “He said yes!” he said, prompting a round of applause from those gathered.

o/o

Qrow grabbed James’ hand just as they came to the Schnee Baking Company, and for his trouble got a giddy sort of fluttering in his middle that had nothing to do with how he was imagining the look on the rude lady’s face when he told her that James was his fiance and she had to give him cake now. He grinned and moved closer to James. One thing was sure: this wasn’t the last he was going to see of the other man.

“Wait,” James said, as they came through the door. “You didn’t tell me we were coming to Schnee’s.”

“I didn’t? I was sure I did. Is that a problem?” Qrow tilted his head back to peer at James. “Do you not like Schnee’s?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just- Winter!” he said, breaking off and beaming as the rude lady approached them. “Hi, Winter.”

“Mr. Ironwood?”

Winter was looking between them, her gaze flickering to their joined hands, and her distaste was clear. “You know this man, sir?”

“I’m his fiance,” Qrow said. “What a small world, Jimmy! Can I speak with you a moment?”

He dragged James out of the shop. “You know her?”

“She was one of my students, a few years ago.”

“Oh.” Qrow looked surprised. “You’re a teacher?”

“High school physics and advanced mathematics.”

“Oh!” He pointed at himself. “Elementary phys ed. Is this gonna blow our game?”

“I don’t think so,” James said. “Winter graduated a few years ago, and her sister attends a different school. There’s no reason she should have heard about my engagement.”

“All I need to know.” He tugged James back to the door. “So where do you teach?”

“Atlas Academy. You?”

“Signal E. Anyway-” The woman had joined them again. “Winter, right? Jimmy here was just telling me about you.”

“Good things, I hope,” she said, a haughty sniff in her voice. James just smiled.

“You know I have never had anything but good things to say about you, Winter.” There was a warmth in his eyes when he said it: he clearly meant it. Qrow felt that fluttering in his middle again.

“Anyway!” He forced a grin. “I told you I had a fiance and as I have produced him, that means we finally get to sample the cake, right?” He turned to James. “Sorry about this,” he said. “She said I couldn’t sample cake unless I had my fiance _with_  me. I know you had plans today, but we really need to sort out a cake.”

“We do,” James agreed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “But it’s probably for the best if I'm here too. Lead on, Winter.”

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” Winter said, making an abrupt turn on her heel and leading them to a back table, where she directed them to sit. “I’ll be back with your samples.”

Once she had disappeared into the back room, Qrow broke down into silent giggles; James raised an eyebrow at him, but he too seemed amused. Qrow got himself under control, and beamed at James.

“I knew I picked well. As soon as I saw you- that’s the man I’m gonna fake marry. I knew it.”

“So it wasn’t just my dashing good looks?”

“Oh no, it was definitely those. You’re a good-looking man, Jimmy.”

A faint blush colored the back of James’ neck. “Thank you,” he said. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“I will have you know I am a _ten_ , thank you very much.”

o/o

Winter came back with a tray of cake samples, and for the next hour and a half, Qrow’s life was going over- in detail- every single sample. The sample’s were pretty small, too- two bites per sample, enough for each of them to taste but not enough to be satisfying, especially as Winter talked for at least fifteen minutes about each sample before they were allowed to move on to the next one.

James didn’t seem bothered in the least- and when at one point Qrow tried to reach for the next sample early, he just batted Qrow’s hand away and told Winter to go on. Qrow was starting to suspect he was doing this on purpose, and he said as much when Winter went away to take the now-empty tray to the back.

“Doing what?” James asked, face a picture of innocence. He turned to Winter as she joined them. “Thank you for all your help, Winter. We’ll be sure to be in touch if we decide to give Schnee’s our patronage.”

“That,” Qrow said, after they were back outside. “That thing where you- you _encourage_  her. Were you doing it on purpose?”

“She was just doing her job,” he said, eyes dancing with laughter. “I’m not going to interfere with that just because you want free cake.”

“I knew it.” Qrow huffed, and they came to a halt at an intersection. This was the part where they split up, and went their separate ways and didn’t hear from each other again, but Qrow didn’t want that. He wanted to spend more time with James, despite his current annoyance. Without warning, he grabbed James’ hand and grinned up at him. “Say Jimmy,” he said. “What say we go get a milkshake to wash down all this cake?”

A slow smile spread across James’ face. “All right,” he said. “It’s a date.”

“This was already a date,” Qrow said, as they turned to head down to the nearest ice cream parlor, hand in hand. Qrow’s fingers brushed against the ring still around James’ finger as they did. “By the way, I’m gonna need that ring back. I paid good money for it.”

James stopped. “Wait,” he said. “Let me get this straight. You _bought_  a ring, and went through all this trouble, so you wouldn’t have to pay for twelve bites of cake?”

“Yeah.”

“…okay.”


End file.
